In the process of saving a relationship, many people are indeed too humble, and the result is often counterproductive, because love is based on mutual respect.
If the other party no longer respects you, then continuing to pursue is often useless.
Using violence or threats is also undesirable. This is like a teacher using authority to suppress students, which will only stimulate the other party’s resistance.
Due to these wrong ways of saving, many marriages that could have been saved eventually broke down.
So, how to save your husband if he insists on divorce? What should be done correctly? Here are 4 correct ways to deal with it.
1. Maintain low-frequency contact on the basis of respect
In the early stage of divorce, people feel heavy as if they are under a huge rock. When they see each other, they feel irritated, anxious and unable to sleep at night, and exhausted physically and mentally.
At this time, both parties are often not rational enough, and emotions prevail, so it is particularly important to avoid frequent contact and conversation.
If the other party is unwilling to sleep in the same bed, then taking the initiative to sleep in separate beds is a solution to the problem.
Avoiding touching sensitive topics and “minefields” can reduce the generation of negative emotions.
In daily life, say a few words calmly, pay attention to your words and deeds, and don’t cause the other party to be disgusted.
Respect the other party’s feelings and give him some space. Occasional contact can make him feel that he is not abandoned by the world. As time goes by, the other party’s attitude may gradually change, leaving the possibility of easing the relationship in the future.
Many marriages break down because the two parties can’t get along, the other party feels depressed and is unwilling to endure it.
Even if you speak softly, the other party may think you are just pretending.
If you want to rebuild contact, you can find some reasons that the other party cannot refuse, such as tutoring children, making a delicious meal, etc., and convey your concern and thoughts smoothly through these behaviors.
If the other party shows a complaining, accusatory or cold attitude, don’t panic, this is actually the other party venting his dissatisfaction and pain.
You should be more considerate and help the other party to vent emotions.
Express your emotions in a timely manner, recall the good times in the past, let your children participate, and arouse the other party’s nostalgia for the marriage. In this way, the relationship may gradually warm up, and the possibility of saving the marriage will increase.
2. Correctly express negative emotions
Emotional management is crucial in communication. When you feel wronged, speaking directly may cause disputes and aggravate conflicts.
Keeping silent and letting emotions accumulate may lead to a bigger outbreak.
The solution is to calm yourself down first. You can release your emotions and reduce your inner anger through exercise, shopping, chatting with friends, or even crying.
After the emotions are stable, communicate with the other party and express your feelings in a gentle way. For example, you can care about the other party first:
“Dear, there are a lot of things in the company today. You come back so late. You are tired. Have you had dinner? I will heat it up for you.”
This can bring you closer to each other, and then express your concerns:
“You come back so late, I am worried.”
Find the right time, and you can express your expectations in a relaxed way:
“Husband, you come back so late, how are you going to compensate me?”
This way is easier for the other party to resonate.
In general, mastering your emotions and thinking from the perspective of others are the keys to maintaining a stable relationship.
Many couples break up because they don’t handle their emotions well.
3. Correctly express dependence
Many women devote themselves to housework after marriage, and their spiritual world gradually stagnates, and they even lose themselves, like vines that rely on men.
If you don’t even cherish yourself and don’t love yourself, how can you expect a man to cherish you?
When a man is moving forward and making progress in the workplace, you are still revolving around family trivia, and the balance of such a marriage is naturally unbalanced.
However, in the process of pursuing independence, you should also avoid going to extremes and not become a “superman” who does not need to rely on others at all.
A truly strong person knows how to show weakness at the right time, and only when he is firm in his heart can he dare to show his vulnerability.
Marriage is a combination of two people sharing responsibilities. Show some weakness and tell some grievances at the right time to let the other person know that you need him and rely on him.
In this way, his desire to protect and sense of responsibility will arise spontaneously, and he will be willing to protect you from the wind and rain and guard you with his heart.
4.change what can be changed, accept what cannot be changed
We cannot change others, we can only change ourselves, and taking the initiative to change can sometimes affect the people around us.
Many marriages break up not because of major principles, but often because small frictions in daily communication accumulate into big problems.
In fact, most marriage problems can be solved through good communication. The key is to find the resonance point of each other’s emotions.
For example, if the other party feels that there is a lack of emotional value and wants to break up, then you can take the initiative to change and give more care. When he feels your care, he may also give back your good emotions, and then you can also put forward your own needs.
Don’t be stubborn. If you want to get back together, you have to take the initiative to change, understand the other party’s needs, and try your best to meet them, so that the relationship can become warm again.
Remember, change is for your own good. If you master the skills of managing marriage, you can live happily no matter who you are with.
This ability is in your own hands, and others cannot take it away. People who are suffering need to change, and those who change will benefit from it.
Of course, some things cannot be changed and must be accepted. No one is perfect.
While adhering to the principles, be more relaxed on small matters and give the other party some space, otherwise the other party will feel oppressed.
We ourselves have many shortcomings, and the other party does not require us to be perfect.
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