Love is sweet, but behind the sweetness is often heartbreak, especially when facing a breakup.
When a man doesn’t love you anymore and wants to leave you, a woman’s first reaction is often to want to retain the man.
So, how to retain a man who wants to leave?
01
First of all, let’s talk about two wrong ways to retain him.
One is to be humble and nice; the other is to pester him endlessly.
This is a method that many women will use, but countless real cases tell us that doing so will only push men further away and make them leave you more determined.
When you try to retain him by flattering him, you will only lose yourself and become no longer yourself.
And this change will not make a man change his mind, but will make him more determined to leave. Because you have become unrecognizable, men have no reason to love you.
When you want to use pestering to make the other person change his mind, it will only make men feel extremely annoyed.
Your frequent calls, text messages, and even uninvited “encirclement” will make a man feel annoyed. He will feel that you are disturbing his life, and the more you pester him, the more hateful he will become.
When you use pestering to win back a person, not only will he not change his mind, but he will also hide from you further.
02
The real effective way to retain a man who is leaving is often the following steps.
First, reflect calmly and find out the root cause of the problem.
When a relationship has problems, it is often not a wise move to take action blindly.
At this time, you need to calm down and think about what went wrong in this relationship.
Is it poor communication? Or is it a disagreement in values? Or is it emotional out-of-control caused by life pressure?
Only when we find the root cause of the deterioration of the relationship, we know where to remedy and save it.
Secondly, communicate honestly and listen to his ideas.
When we find the root cause of the problem, we need to have a heart-to-heart talk with the man next.
If you want to keep him, you need to express your feelings and thoughts honestly, and also listen to what he thinks and why he has to break up.
At this time, you are not arguing with him about right or wrong. Your goal is to figure out his true thoughts and find out the real reason why he left.
Once this step is completed, you can have a better direction on how to save him.
Again, make positive changes and show a new self.
If you find that you do have some problems in your relationship, such as being too dependent on the other person, emotional instability, etc., then if you want to keep the other person, you need to make corresponding changes.
This does not mean that you have to cater to him without principles, but try to change the inappropriate things you do in the relationship and strive to become a better lover.
If you can be more independent, know how to control your emotions, and have a brand new change, then men may re-examine your relationship.
Finally, keep a proper distance and give him space to think.
Sometimes, a proper distance can make two people see each other more clearly.
When he decides to leave, you should give him some space. Don’t keep chasing him and asking why, and don’t pester him and force him to give you an answer.
Give him some time to calm down and regain his rationality. This is a very necessary step.
Of course, this does not mean that you have to disappear from his life completely, but press the pause button on your relationship first, and give each other some time and space.
It can be used to calm down emotions and think better.
03
In the process of having a man, you should pay more attention to your own life.
Don’t let yourself live in a daze because of his departure, cry all day, or get drunk and indulge, and life can’t go on normally.
These practices are not advisable. If you become like this, how can you make the other person have the motivation to turn back?
So, you have to live a more exciting life and let him see your charm. Because you have to understand that the most important thing for two people to continue to be together is whether you are still attractive to him.
When you focus on yourself and work hard to improve yourself, you will find that you become more confident and more attractive.
In the whole process of retaining, you must maintain dignity and confidence. After all, love is not begged, but attracted to each other.
As Xu Zhimo said: “I will search for my only soul mate in the vast sea of people; if I find him, I am lucky; if I don’t, it is my fate.”
You can try your best to keep him, but if you still can’t make him come back, you must learn to accept it calmly.
We often try to keep someone in order to leave no regrets for our love, but also because you still have feelings for him and can’t let go.
If the other party is determined to leave, there is no need to force it. It is better to try to let go, so that you can meet more possibilities.
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