Hey, friends, do you sometimes feel that love is like a sudden storm that catches you off guard? You were in love yesterday, but today your partner said “personality incompatibility” and wants to break up. Do you feel that the whole world has collapsed? Don’t worry, I will give you some tips today, and teach you how to use 5 practical techniques to win back the lover who said “personality incompatibility” and let your love rekindle!
1. Recognize the current situation and accept reality
First of all, we have to recognize a reality: when the partner says “personality incompatibility”, TA may really think so, or just make an excuse. But in either case, you have to accept this reality first, don’t rush to refute or defend. Because, when you are emotional, any defense may be regarded as “quibbling” by the other party, which will deepen the conflict.
So, the first step is to take a deep breath, calm down, and tell yourself: “TA thinks so now, but it doesn’t mean that he will always think so.” Accepting reality is the first and most important step to redeem.
In fact, if you want to chase a girl, as long as you can chat, you have an 80% chance of chasing her. Because the core of falling in love is the word “talk”. Talk to girls about life, talk about the heart, and talk about the future. As long as you can talk to her, there will be opportunities for development. If you are just dumb and a straight man in chatting, you might as well come to the public account–“Straight Man Counterattack Record” to share with you a top chat mind map, so that you can master the core secrets of chatting, when to be humorous, when to chat with high emotional intelligence, and at the same time give you a set of top-level words, so that you can handle chatting in different scenarios with ease, and you can easily chat with girls.
2. Self-reflection and find out the problem
Next, we have to reflect on ourselves. Remember, recovery is not blindly seeking peace, let alone begging the other party to come back, but finding out the problem and solving the problem. So, you have to think carefully about what exactly caused the “incompatibility of personality” between you.
Are you always too strong and don’t know how to give in? Are you always too sensitive and prone to thinking too much? Are your living habits and hobbies too different? Only by finding the root of the problem can we prescribe the right medicine.
In the process of self-reflection, you can try to make a list of the possible problems between you, and then analyze them one by one to find solutions. Don’t forget that self-reflection is not self-blame, but to improve yourself better and for your love.
3. Effective communication, open your heart
After finding the problem, the next step is communication. Remember, communication is the bridge to solve the problem and the key to saving love. However, communication is not quarreling, not accusation, but calm communication.
You can find a suitable time, ask the other party out, find a quiet place, and have a good chat. During the chat, listen to the other party’s ideas more, don’t rush to interrupt or refute. When the other party has finished speaking, you can express your thoughts and feelings. Remember to use “I feel” instead of “You make me feel”, which can reduce the other party’s resistance.
In the process of communication, you may try to use some small skills, such as using more affirmative sentences and less negative sentences; expressing feelings more and blaming the other party less; making more suggestions and fewer requests. In this way, communication will be smoother and it will be easier to open the other person’s heart.
4. Show changes and rebuild trust
After communication, if you really realize that you have problems and are willing to change for love, then take action! Don’t just talk and don’t do anything, otherwise the other person will think you are perfunctory.
You can start with some small things, such as becoming more careful and considerate; learning to listen and give in; changing some bad living habits or hobbies. These changes should not only be seen by the other person, but also felt by the other person. You can show your changes through Moments, mutual friends or directly to the other person.
Remember, change is not achieved overnight, it takes time and patience. However, as long as you stick to it, the other person will definitely see your efforts and will rebuild their trust in you.
5. Create surprises and rekindle love
Finally, when your relationship has eased and even begins to rebuild trust, you might as well create some small surprises to let the other person feel your care and love.
A surprise can be a small gift, such as a book, a bouquet of flowers or a snack that the other person likes; it can also be a romantic date, such as going to a movie, having a candlelight dinner or going to a place you have been to but is very meaningful. Surprises don’t have to be expensive, but they must be made with heart, so that the other person can feel your sincerity and sincerity.
While creating a surprise, don’t forget to express your feelings and thoughts. Tell the other person how much you cherish this relationship and how much you want to continue with him/her. Let the other person know that your changes and efforts are all for him/her and for your love.
Practical case analysis
After talking about so many skills, some friends may still feel confused. It doesn’t matter, let’s analyze a practical case to let you understand how to use these skills more intuitively.
Suppose you broke up with your partner because of personality incompatibility, and the other person thinks that you are always too careless and don’t know how to care about others. At this time, you can do this:
Recognize the current situation and accept reality: first calm down and accept the fact that the other party proposed to break up, don’t entangle or beg.
Self-reflection, find out the problem: think about whether you really have the problem of carelessness, and whether you often ignore the other person’s feelings and needs. If so, make a list, such as “don’t remember the other person’s birthday”, “always forget to reply to messages”, etc.
Effective communication, open your heart: find a suitable time to ask the other person out for a chat. During the chat, listen more to the other person’s complaints and dissatisfaction, and then express your own thoughts and feelings, such as “I know that I didn’t do well enough before, which made you feel that I don’t care about you. But in fact, I care about you very much, but sometimes I am careless. I am willing to change for you.”
Show changes and rebuild trust: Next, it’s time to take action. You can start to record the other person’s birthday, hobbies and habits, and send a greeting or caring message to the other person every day. When the other person is sick or encounters difficulties, show up at the first time to provide help and support. These changes should be seen and felt by the other person.
Create surprises and rekindle the fire of love: When your relationship has eased, you might as well create a small surprise. For example, on the other person’s birthday, give him/her a carefully prepared gift and a handwritten greeting card with your love and blessings for him/her. Or, arrange a romantic date and take him/her to a place you have been to but is very meaningful to relive the sweetness and happiness of that time.
In this way, through these five steps, you not only successfully saved your love, but also made your relationship deeper and more stable. Of course, everyone’s situation is different. When using these techniques specifically, you need to flexibly adjust according to the actual situation.
Conclusion
Okay, that’s all I’m sharing with you today! Remember, saving love is not a matter of one day or one night. It requires patience, hard work and wisdom. But as long as you really love each other and are willing to pay and change for love, I believe you will be able to overcome all difficulties and rekindle the fire of love! Come on!
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