How to prevent and treat cold violence in the family
As a new type of hidden violence, cold violence in the family is no less harmful than the explicit “hot violence”, and even more harmful than the traditional “hot violence”. So, how to prevent and treat cold violence in the family should start from the following aspects.
(I) Use legal weapons to stop and prevent cold violence in the family. Couples should strengthen their study of laws, especially marriage laws. Fully understand the wrongness of cold violence in the family.
(II) Strengthen moral quality education and establish a harmonious and good style. Change the understanding of cold violence in the family. In the process of preventing and intervening in domestic violence, it is essential to improve the cultural quality of the whole people and the moral standards of the whole society. Breaking the influence of traditional old concepts on domestic violence is the fundamental. Let the public realize that domestic violence is a criminal act that infringes on the personal rights of others, a social problem related to social stability and family stability, and is not tolerated by society.
(III) Husbands and wives should support and tolerate each other, and strengthen communication and understanding. In the final analysis, “cold violence” in the family still occurs in their respective families. Therefore, no matter how well social work is done, if the couple does not communicate, the problem is still unsolvable. Therefore, strengthening the exchange and communication between the couple is the fundamental way to prevent and control family cold violence.
What are the specific manifestations of family cold violence?
Family cold violence is when the couple shows indifference, contempt, indulgence and alienation to each other when conflicts arise. The most obvious characteristics are indifference to each other, no language and emotional communication, or reducing language communication to a minimum, stopping or perfunctory sex, and being lazy to do all household chores. The specific manifestations are as follows:
(a) Indifference.
(b) Minimizing language communication.
(c) Slander and ridicule.
(d) Stopping or perfunctory sex.
(e) Completely irresponsible for household affairs.
The harm of “cold violence”
Physical wounds can be healed, but mental wounds are not easy to heal. In fact, people in the situation of “cold violence” are as seriously hurt as those with health problems caused by direct physical torture. The result of force is obvious physical trauma and family rift, which can be resolved through the law.
However, “cold violence” has no obvious visible evidence and is difficult to be punished by society and law. Because family “cold violence” is repetitive and hidden, even if the parties bring the “perpetrator” to court, the case cannot be handled. The parties who suffer from “cold violence” will be affected to a certain extent psychologically and mentally.
Most of them feel aggrieved and controlled, their emotions become fragile, and they are often lonely psychologically. The injured party may act excessively because of the long-term mental torture that cannot be vented and buffered, resulting in more serious consequences.
In general, family “cold violence” mostly occurs in intellectual families. Because of their relatively high level of education, they adopt this more “advanced” form of violence.
When family conflicts break out, the couple chooses “cold violence” in an attempt to fight against the voice with silence and express dissatisfaction with silence. In fact, such a choice is useless. Communication can be said to be an eternal topic in the life of couples and the essence of family life. If there is no language communication between husband and wife, they are like two strangers standing in an elevator by chance, and breaking up is inevitable.
Men and women in the situation of cold violence will be hurt physically and mentally, which is as serious as the health damage caused by direct physical torture.
As the saying goes: language is the key to open the heart. When facing contradictions, we must face it squarely. There is no way out by avoiding it. When the contradictions accumulate to a certain amount, there will be a qualitative change. Cold violence is like a “time bomb” buried beside the couple. If it is not discovered and eliminated in time, it is very likely to explode, and the consequences will be disastrous.
In addition, because cold violence makes the victim lose the warmth of the family and the care of relatives, it is easy to have an extramarital affair, which is what the abuser does not want to see. Therefore, the best way to resolve conflicts between husband and wife is communication. Ignoring, ignoring each other, sexual punishment and other mental abuses are not advisable.
“Cold violence” is a lose-lose approach, and there is no better solution. In the West, couples generally receive consultation from “marriage therapy counseling centers”. In China, there are few similar institutions. Even if they do not receive psychological treatment, both parties should open their hearts, strengthen communication and exchanges, untie the knot, and let “cold violence” no longer harm others and themselves.
As for the “victims”, they should break the outdated concepts of “family disgrace should not be made public” and “compromise”. Once they determine that there is no hope of reconciliation with the other party and it is really impossible to maintain it, they should make a brave decision. Instead of maintaining an empty shell of a family without affection and love, it is better to liberate yourself and find your own happiness again.
Based on the above answers, we can clearly know that domestic cold violence has greater social harm. Legal weapons should be used to stop and prevent domestic cold violence.
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