When she looked back and smiled, my heart was stirred up by thousands of waves. At that moment, time seemed to freeze, and all the noise around us quietly retreated, leaving only her gentle smile and the countless ripples in my heart. This smile is both familiar and strange, as if it was the heartbeat when we first met, and it is also like the deep affection after years of precipitation. However, in the long river of marriage, such moments seem to become less and less, replaced by daily trivialities and occasional quarrels. We can’t help but ask, how can we regain the heart-warming warmth in the dullness of marriage?
Marriage is the deep fusion of two souls and the promise to support each other through the wind and rain. But as time goes by, the burden of life, the pressure of work, the education of children… these trivial things gradually fill our schedules and make our hearts exhausted. The vows of love that once seemed to be diluted by the trivialities of daily life, and we began to doubt whether the initial passion really existed?
In fact, passion has never really left us, it is just covered by the trivialities of life. Just like when she looked back and smiled, the touch in my heart was a brief burst of passion in ordinary life. However, we need to learn to discover and cherish these moments in the daily life of marriage, so that they can become the bond of our feelings, rather than being washed away by the torrent of life.
So, how to regain that warmth in the dullness of marriage?
1. Regain romance and create your “little happiness”
Romance is not only needed on special days such as Valentine’s Day and wedding anniversaries. In marriage, romance should be a normal state and a life attitude created by two people. There is no need to spend too much money, nor do you need to deliberately pursue those flashy rituals. Sometimes, a simple greeting, a warm hug, and a housework done together can make each other feel each other’s love.
For example, you can sit on the balcony together on a weekend afternoon, make a pot of tea, and read a favorite book. Such time, although simple, is full of warmth and romance. Or, you can plan a short trip together to explore places you have never been to, so that each other can regain the excitement of the first meeting during the journey.
2. Learn to listen and enter each other’s inner world
In marriage, listening is more important than speaking. Many times, we are busy expressing our own opinions and feelings, but ignore the needs and ideas of the other party. This way of communication can easily cause barriers and misunderstandings between each other. Therefore, we need to learn to listen and truly understand each other’s inner world.
When she tells you about her tiredness of the day, don’t rush to give advice or solutions, but listen to her quietly first. Feel her emotions and understand her feelings. Sometimes, a hug and a sentence “I understand you” can make her feel your support better than any advice. Similarly, when you need to talk, give her enough time and space so that she can enter your inner world.
3. Stay independent and make each other a better self
In marriage, although two people have become a whole, it does not mean that they have to lose themselves completely. On the contrary, maintaining a certain degree of independence can make each other freer and happier in marriage. This does not mean deliberately pursuing personal space and time, but respecting each other’s interests and hobbies in daily life and supporting each other’s growth and development.
For example, if she likes to paint, you can quietly accompany her when she paints, or do what you like. This way of getting along can not only allow each other to maintain a certain degree of independence, but also make the relationship deeper in mutual support. Similarly, you should also have your own interests and hobbies, so that she can see that you are a person with pursuits and dreams. Only in this way can she love you more and cherish you more.
4. Learn to be grateful and cherish each other’s efforts
In marriage, gratitude is a very important quality. Many times, we take each other’s efforts for granted, but rarely express gratitude. Such an attitude can easily make each other’s feelings become indifferent and alienated. Therefore, we need to learn to be grateful and cherish each other’s efforts.
When she prepares a sumptuous dinner for you, don’t just bury your head in eating and watching TV, but express your gratitude to her. Tell her that you like her cooking very much and are grateful for her efforts for the family. Such an expression can not only make her feel your love, but also make your relationship deeper in mutual gratitude. Similarly, you should also learn to appreciate her company, support and understanding. Only in this way can she be more willing to give for you and cherish your marriage more.
5. Grow together and make marriage a harbor for each other
Marriage is a process of growth for two people. In this process, we need to learn to adapt to each other’s changes and accept each other’s imperfections. At the same time, we must also strive to make ourselves better and better. Such a growth process can not only make our marriage more stable and happy, but also make us become better ourselves with each other’s support.
For example, you can set some common goals and plans together, such as learning a new skill, traveling to a place you have never been to, etc. Such a common experience can not only make your relationship deeper, but also allow you to grow together in mutual support and encouragement. At the same time, you must also learn to accept each other’s changes and imperfections. For example, she may become irritable due to work pressure; you may become a little stubborn as you get older. But these are normal changes, and we need to learn to understand and tolerate each other. Only such a marriage can become each other’s harbor and the home of our souls.
6. Learn to apologize and forgive, and let the feelings sublimate in tolerance
In marriage, apologies and forgiveness are indispensable. Because no matter how hard we try to maintain each other’s feelings, there will inevitably be quarrels and conflicts. But as long as we can learn to apologize and forgive, we can sublimate feelings in tolerance.
When she is angry about something, don’t rush to defend or evade responsibility. Instead, you should bravely admit your mistakes, apologize to her and express your determination to correct them. Such an attitude can not only make her feel your sincerity and determination, but also make your feelings deeper in mutual tolerance. Similarly, when she apologizes to you, you should also learn to forgive her and accept her imperfections. Only in this way can you make her more willing to pay for you and cherish your marriage more.
7. Keep freshness and keep love fresh forever
In marriage, freshness is a very important element. It can keep our love alive and passionate forever. Therefore, we need to learn to create freshness and maintain attraction between each other.
For example, you can try some new activities or hobbies together, such as learning a new language, taking a dance class, etc. Such a common experience can not only deepen your relationship, but also allow you to grow together in mutual support and encouragement. At the same time, you must also learn to maintain your mystery and appeal. For example, occasionally give her a surprise or gift; show her some talents or charms that you have never shown before. Only in this way can she always be curious and interested in you.
On the road of marriage, we are constantly exploring and moving forward. Sometimes, we lose our way because of fatigue and confusion; but as long as we can stick to our original intentions and support each other, we will definitely find our way to happiness. When she looks back and smiles, may we all feel the initial passion and heartbeat; may we all be able to regain the heart-warming warmth in the dullness of marriage.
Marriage is a long journey. In this journey, we will encounter countless landscapes and challenges. But as long as we can move forward hand in hand, tolerate and understand each other, we will definitely be able to go further and more steadily. May we all cherish each other’s company and support; may we all be able to harvest happiness and growth on the road of marriage. When she looks back and smiles again, may we all be able to respond to that deep affection and love with a more determined look. Because, on the road of marriage, we are never fighting alone.
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