In the world of emotions, we always like to look for some external forces to guide us, especially when facing emotional difficulties such as breakups. Besties, as the closest “emotional consultants” in our lives, sometimes inadvertently play the role of “fortune tellers” and make some assertions about our love life. These assertions, whether good or bad, can always stir up ripples in our hearts. So, are the “love assertions” between besties accurate? What impact do they have on our emotional life?
I remember it was a rainy afternoon. Vera and her bestie Susan were sitting in a cafe, chatting about their recent emotional troubles. Vera and her boyfriend had a rift in their relationship, and they often quarreled over trivial matters. After hearing this, Susan frowned, pondered for a moment, and slowly said: “I think that your zodiac signs are not compatible. From the perspective of numerology, this relationship may not last long.” After hearing this, Vera felt mixed emotions. Although she did not completely believe these things, her bestie’s words were like a thorn that pierced her heart.
In the following days, Vera began to observe her relationship with her boyfriend intentionally or unintentionally. Every time she quarreled and every time she had a cold war, she would think of Susan’s “assertion”. Gradually, she found it increasingly difficult to look at this relationship objectively, and even began to doubt whether their love was doomed from the beginning as her bestie said.
In fact, examples like Vera who were affected by her bestie’s “love assertion” are not uncommon. In the world of emotions, we always desire some definite answers to soothe our inner anxiety. As our closest people, our besties’ opinions are often taken very seriously by us. However, when these opinions appear in the form of “love assertions”, they may become stumbling blocks on our emotional road.
So why are the “love assertions” between besties so influential? Behind this, there is actually a psychological phenomenon hidden – confirmation bias. Confirmation bias refers to the tendency of people to look for, interpret or remember information to support their beliefs or assumptions, while ignoring or rejecting information that contradicts their beliefs. When a bestie makes a “love assertion”, we tend to unconsciously look for evidence to support the assertion, while ignoring the positive information that contradicts the assertion.
In addition, the “love assertions” between besties may also trigger a psychological effect called “self-fulfilling prophecy”. Simply put, when we believe in a prophecy, our behavior will unconsciously develop in the direction of the prophecy, and eventually lead to the prophecy coming true. Xiaoya’s example is the best proof. She began to doubt her feelings and became indifferent to her boyfriend. This change undoubtedly exacerbated the conflict between the two and eventually led to a breakup.
So, how should we keep a clear mind in the face of “love assertions” between besties?
First of all, we must learn to think independently. When it comes to emotional issues, don’t rely too much on the opinions of others, including besties. Everyone’s emotional experience is unique, and others cannot fully understand your feelings and needs. Therefore, when facing “love assertions”, learn to look at the problem with your own eyes and feel love with your own heart.
Second, keep an open mind. Even if your bestie’s assertion makes you feel uneasy, don’t deny or reject it immediately. Try to understand this relationship from a different perspective, and maybe you will find some details that you haven’t noticed before. At the same time, learn to accept the uncertainty and changes in your relationship, because this is the charm of love.
Finally, seek professional help. If you find that you can’t get rid of the influence of “love assertions” or there are serious problems in your emotional life, you might as well seek the help of a professional psychologist or emotional expert. They can provide more objective and professional advice to help you get out of your emotional predicament.
In short, although the “love assertions” between besties have a certain influence, it does not mean that they are accurate. When facing these assertions, we must learn to maintain independent thinking, an open mind, and the ability to seek professional help. Only in this way can we go further and more steadily on the road of emotion.
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